i realised i should be glad about many things and stop complaining. and i need to tidy up with my life and set goals.

im glad that
i have lovely family and friends
im a singaporean
i was in a great pri sch and scored 245 for PSLE
i had a boyfriend once in pri 1
we got golds for SYF 07 and 09
i have kissed someone on the lips
i have been around each corner of singapore xcept the flyer

im not glad that
i do not own more than ten dresses
i do not own a pair of heel
i only own two colours of nail polish
i never did well before in my studies during my secondary life
i have never been to anywhere else in the world other than singapore and msia
i do not know how to do makeup other than foundation and lip gloss
i had not learn ballet when young

i should aim to
stop complaining about doing homework
score well for o levels and get into a JC
continue dancing until i get old
be able to afford a porsche one day
buy a white horse/pony some day

crazy thing that i consider doing
fly to antartica and kiss the penguins
shout out to the world and ask them to stop all war and stop contributing to global warming

for now, i have to
finish up the whole stack of hol homework and HBL homework and study prelims which may take me a year.
but i will still do it...

DANCE subaru is super nice. watched it yesterday. and it made me feel lyk dancing so much. omg. i cant stop thinking about it. i have to do something. =DDD

had school again. but today is the second last lesson for the holidays. yippee. it means only friday left and im free from any other lessons for the time. yes. finally. omg. this studying thing has made me go crazy and i can finally take a breath. and i hate crystal ong siqi for going sentosa at this point of time, making me so jealous. omg. u can even pon school to play and have fun. bt i cant. u stupid thing.

i just realised my blog is so dead. but wadeva.

first week of june holidays is going to end. and out of the stack of holiday homeworks, i have only done 1/100. dats about the ratio, which means that i have three weeks to do the other 99/100 which is mission impossible. i just dont feel like completing the work. i think im addicted to restaurant city cos its too fun and its the only thing i can play with during the holidays. i noe its the GSS and i wan to shop as much as i could but i wont have the time to. i can only stay at home all day, trying to complete all my homework before the holidays end. omg. life's boring when we are studying. esp during important years. like now.

one week and plus plus left to the holidays. but before that, there is the PRELIMS to kill all our mood to have fun. lols

its less than a week to the ss paper and i havent start revising. there are two books to study and im feeling sick just at the thought of it. luckily, its only one subject than need so much studying, since there is nothing for me to read for eng. but just one subject can kill me. homework have been rushing in and i cant finish them on time. i want to study, but my brain cant stay still and focus. the sleeping bug tends to come and i will fall asleep in front of the book. i cant help it and i feel guilty. i want to do well too, but how can i do it if i dun study well? if i am a genius, i wont have to worry. bt im not. even studying well may not give me good grades bt at least i tried. i tried to study. i need motivation and a goal in life. but my goal in life now doesnt tell me to study hard. the future career that i want does not need me to study all my sciences and humanities, maybe only my maths. but maths has been a disaster ever since this year. i didnt realise maths could kill me until recently. i duno wads wrong with me and i cant seem to put those maths thing in my brain. things no longer work out as perfectly as before.

im jealous of my sister. she finished her mid years and is slacking now. but i cant.

school has been miserable so far. bt jokes and gossips with friends have made life much better. and life at home is nothing better. me and my family have been the victims of mosquitoes living in the house and i have thousands of bites everywhere. they are so irritating.

im reading the book 'a walk to remember' now. its nothing much in the beginning, all talking about how a girl and a guy got to know each other more and stuffs like that. and the girl is a very nice girl. caring and innocent. bt the story ends with the girl dying from cancer. im still halfway, reading the book, but i cant bear to finish it. the girl doesnt even deserve to die, but she did. i thought all good people come to a good end, but why did she die so early? i wanted to stop reading the book, but then, i realised i cant escape from reality. the girl died and i cant change the fact even if i dun read the book. bt i just cant understand why things like that happen. or maybe its just a story and it wont happen in real life?

anw, prelims are coming and i dun know how to study. the fact that there are remedials during the holiday make me feel even tired. i thought my burdens were going to lighten in two weeks time, but no. they are not. it is going to weigh even more.

time just walked away and there are many things to be done. this is just so boring. im going crazy because of all the class tests and timed practice. i should be happy since there is no mid-years bt instead im still studying endlessly and reading all my thick textbooks. it is just an 'O' levels. why am i killing myself for it? this is such a waste of time and im sacrificing all my happiness cos they got buried under the textbooks. such a pity.

bt anw, i shoudnt be grumpling and complaining since i havent been putting in effort. i realised, for all this time, i have not really take the 'O's seriously. previously was because of syf. syf took 'most' of the time and i wasnt bothered with studying. now, im obsessed with taking naps since i can go home quite early and im not in the mood to study. the things just cant get into my head and im starting to think that teachers are irritating. is it just because of the 'O' dat they have become such a irritant or they were always like that. they teach and teach den suddenly they give tests even though they have not complete the topics.

i wished i could still have ccas, den i can dance again. it makes me forget all the work and tests. bt i wouldnt want any stress from dance. i would just want to do it happily and it would be great.

there's a mother's day dinner later. =D hopefully, the food is nice.